Max and the Frog


I was at work early today - very early!

I was woken at 4 a.m. with a very croaky coughing noise in my ear. As is normal at those times, I kicked my wife who replied that she was asleep and had not made a sound. The croaking cough continued. Fearing burglars, I took the appropriate action and placed a pillow over my head and pulled the covers up tight inviting my wife to investigate. She declined.

It was at this juncture that all 18 lbs. of Sebastian leapt onto the bed crushing my foot. In the half light, I saw he was watching the floor rather than the disintegration of my metatarsal. The cough continued accompanied by a scratching sound. Our burglar not only had influenza but was also flea-ridden.

Being extremely brave, I rose from the covers and went to investigate. Max, the 9 lb. weakling, was at the foot of the bed scratching furiously at the blanket which was now ninety percent on the floor. I enquired what he was doing and he ignored me and continued scratching. I sensed that before long the blanket would be thread-bare and the source of his interest would be revealed. I intervened and removed the blanket. There was a frog croaking away to his heart's content with Max prancing up to him, leaping in the air and backing away. Sebastian was watching from his vantage point on the bed albeit without my foot engaged in his rear quarters. the scene was blissful enough had it not been in my bedroom.

I summoned my wife to acquire a capture mechanism. We recently had a new kitchen fitted and anything that is not in daily use is hidden away. Frog capturing devices fit into this category and hence she was away for some time to my intrepidation. She returned with an empty ice cream making container.

I applied this over the frog. Placed a copy of 'Nuts' magazine beneath and lifted the entirety to the front door. The ceremony of the locks and keys was then performed to allow the portal to open and I stepped outside with my precious charge. It was at this point that I noticed the chill around my lower body and realised I was not properly dressed for a sortie to the outside world. I deliberated and then decided to continue my mission because the last thing we need is for the frog to come back in.

I released the frog on the lawn and returned to the confines of our warm home. I decreed that my wife should embark on a washing program as I was not fond of frog flavoured ice cream nor was I confident of the continence of the amphibian in the area of the bed-clothes.

By now it was 5 o'clock and all thoughts of further slumber were removed. I decided to put on my work clothes and go to work. How peaceful it seems there.

True story by Paul Cook of United Kingdom


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Paul Cook
True Story?: