A morning with my pets

How a morning with pets should be.... Wake up, let dogs out. Let dogs in and feed them. Feed all cats. Feed and water both ferrets. Take a shower and leave for work.... ************************************** AND...How It really is Wake up, let dogs out. Scream at them to get in the yard, as they head, pulling you, for the sidewalk, chase one down the sidewalk who slipped off leash and is now chasing an old man and his dog. Panic and Run with arms out, zig zag to stop dog running Into the street into the street, keep a tight grip on second dog who is barking without taking a breath. grab leash, loudly apologize to man. Go back to yard. Wait...then...wait more... While both dogs find an appropriate place to pee...wait...while they scour the lawn after peeing In case any other dogs have been there in the night.. wait… While they bark at mysterious scents. reel in doxies leash, because she has found, and begun to crunch, a dead squirrels leg, pry it from her mouth, take dogs in. wash hands. Feed dogs. One of them needs to go in the hallway with the door shut, as all the cats will eat her food, and she will back away, sit, and look to you for help, the small doxie is busy attempting to bury the bowl of high quality food you just put down, and giving you a sideways look as if you have just offered her water soaked cyanide. This same dog happily munched a dead squirrels’ leg 5 minutes ago.... Cats begin to assemble eerily like a well formed army. I have used a hand can opener for 5 years. It took them 3 seconds to learn the sound of an electric one. Let dog in from hallway. Shes's finished. Feed cats. One decides to throw up in the bowl after 2 minutes from gorging herself, you get fresh food, there is then a hissy fit over who gets first dibs at the new bowl,plenty of paw boxing,you make STISSS STISSS!! Sounds to break up the fight. It’s obvious they are literally starving and I should be reported for such treatment. After all, it has been all night since the last feeding, freshen water. ALL cats, and both dogs, are waiting for this, so they will not move for you to put the dish down in its place, besides it might be more food... Time To Feed ferrets. Open the cage door; this is your first mistake. Two Ferrets climb out and onto your back as you are bent over retrieving their dishes from the far end of the cage, you stay bent over while twisting your arm into painful knots and trying to get them off your back, you don't. They are obviously boneless. And can twist ways you never imagined to get out of your grip, however, you don't want them to fall either so you do not stand up... you stay on your hands and knees for a minute and wait for them to crawl off themselves. Ferrets then disappear under your dresser and poke their nose out for the first 5 minutes or so, see you, and disappear again. After 10 more minutes, you find they have left the bottom of the dresser and you never even knew it, and have been softly calling to them, while bent over rattling a ball in the dark, while they have been behind you for 5 of those 10 minutes watching your butt in amusement. You leave the battle here and resume hopefully with jingly ball on the other side of the room You eventually see one check where you are from a shoe in the closet across the room, and the other has gone inside the dresser drawer, and crawled Into a sock replace both in cage with sock, as ferret refuses be pulled out. close cage and straighten up. Get in shower. All cats (6) now NEED to be in the bathroom, they then fight outside the shower over dominance as to who will sit (or pee) on the 1 paper bag laying on the bathroom floor from shopping yesterday, (dragged there Initially by the doxie, and not yet picked up) 1 sits perched on the toilet edge waiting for it to magically flush by Itself so she can watch the water, she looks to you occasionally, mouth opening in a silent meow, asking you to flush for her. The others go in and out a few times as If they just mastered the art of entering and leaving a room. Come out of the shower to finally find dogs asleep, ferrets sleeping in a curled ying-yang position and cats have disappeared Into various meat loaf shapes on the furniture Go to work..... 10 minutes late. Sheila Thomas Dunkirk Ny.

Author: 
Sheila Thomas
Age: 
47
True Story?: 
yes